CEO's: Have you been duped?

An open letter to CEO’s, COO’s and CMO’s:

Let’s see.  How do I say this?  How ‘bout this…is your customer service department/division/person really giving any service?

Now, let me back up.  Somewhere along the line, a really bright person stood in front of you with a Powerpoint® presentation and showed how automated customer service would save you money while at the same time keeping customers happy by providing faster service.

Well, friends, hate to tell you, but you got sold a bill of goods.  Want proof?  Think of a problem that you might have with one of your products or services.  Call your own customer service line.  WARNING:  this is not for the faint-of-heart!  If you are taking prescription drugs or have a history of health problems, I suggest you have someone else make that call while you monitor on a speakerphone.

You’ll find out quickly just how bad things are.  Actually, it may not be so quickly.  You could be pressing 1 the 2 then 5 then 1 then 4 then…and then you may arrive at a person to whom you’ve given NO authority except to say, “Sorry, it’s company policy,” and when you want to discuss it with an actual decision maker, you’re told that they can only return calls and then, only in the morning.  At this point, you’ll realize that you’ve invested anywhere at least ten and maybe twenty or more minutes to get nowhere.  Well, actually, at least you’ve probably made a great voice recording (for training purposes only, of course)*.

Think you’ll get a call back from that decision maker?  Don’ take it to Vegas.

Now, about that phone tree and saving time.  Well, it saves time for your company, I guess, but it wastes a great deal of your customers’ time.  As you use automation to sort and categorize, you waste hours and hours of time on your customers’ behalf.  And they’re getting tired of it.  Tired of pressing numbers, tired of punching in a phone number or credit card or account number only to hear from the live person you finally get to say “May I have your (phone, credit card, account) number please?“  Why did you have them enter it in the first place?  Ah yes.  The prescreener.  But that person with the Powerpoint didn’t tell you about the costs to port that information to the servicer’s computer screen, did they?

The fix:

• One (o-n-e) automated encounter before connecting the caller to a live person
• Empowered people who actually know the product
• Ability to escalate a problem or issue immediately

But that’ll cost me money.  Deal with it.  Look upon it as priming the pump – the one that pumps out happier consumers.  

Go ahead.  Make the call.  But on your cell, dial 911 so that all you have to do is hit “Send” when you start feeling ill.

*NB: A lot of call center recorders continue even when you’re on hold.  That can be fun.