Mobile Apps...What a Great Marketing "Ploy"

Do you remember the story about the guy driving down the road behind a pickup truck?  The guy stops fast as the truck driver jumps out, runs around the back and starts beating on the sides of the truck with a 2x4.  He then replaces the board, jumps back into the truck and drives off.

The guy following watches this happen 4 more times before he gets out of his car and approaches the truck driver, who’s madly beating on the truck.

“I gotta ask,” the car’s driver asks, “what the heck are you doing?”

The trucker mops his brow and responds, “Hey, I’m in a hurry.  I got a one ton truck.   I’m hauling 2 tons of birds.  I gotta keep half of ‘em flyin’ all the time.”

Reminds me of what marketers rush into when they decide they need a mobile app.

I’ve done a bunch of them in the past few months.  People and products that have to have a mobile presence.

…and I get dirty looks (or the deer in the headlights) when I ask, what’s the purpose?

“The purpose?  Harrumph, harrumph,” like Mel Brooks in Blazing Saddles.  “Uh?  We gotta be there.”

“But what are people going to get?  I mean, what’s the user experience?” I ask, jumping back to the basic of basics.

“Well.  Uh.  How ‘bout a coupon?”

“For what?”

“Lemme think…how about a free eye exam?”

“OK.  Have you run numbers for that?”

“No.  I just thought of it.  But we gotta have an app.”

It goes on like that – needing an app but not thinking it through.  Mobile apps have to offer some kind of reward.  Ideally, it’s an instantaneous reward.  Example:  news apps – you get news you’ve signed up for immediately.  Another might be coupons but only if you can deliver your coupon when the receiver is in the mood and capable of using it.  And, c’mon – an entire app for a single coupon?  Unless it’s for 90% off on a car, it’s not going to be worth your while.

I’ve seen some good ones – golf score tracker, like a clicker for your phone.  Of course, I have to prompt one of my golfing friends to actually click it with each shot.  Mortgage calculator.  Great one.  Plug in a rate to get monthly payments.  There are a bunch.

And the other side -  well, you can’t swing a dead…uh…without hitting one.  Do a Google search on “useless mobile apps.”  Or try OpenSpot on your Android.  You’ll get the idea.  And, remember, when you see one, a bunch of folks sat around a table and said, “Yeah.  Great.  Let’s go with it.”

Finally, don’t forget – once you create the app, you have to market it, it being the app!  You have to tell people about it and get them to download it.  When you’re thinking that part through, think once again about what you’re putting your prospects through.  If they download a useless app – or worse, one that monkeys with their system – you’ve done more harm to your brand than you have good.  From a tech standpoint, they have to work - and continue working.  When you rush past QA, you leave yourself open for a lot of negatives.  Remember, people can rate the app…and they do.  Oh yeah, you bet they do.  Check a few out.  Those comments could be about your product because of your app.

So the next time you’re thinking about a calculator that lets someone determine the length of a monster sub sandwich for your party, or calculates the compatibility of two cats, think again.  Save yourself some grief and save the brand from some damage.

If the guy with the truck would have thought his trip through, he wouldn’t have taken off with the two tons of birds and the one ton would have made it just fine, on time, no additional cost.

Oh, on the optometrist, finally, he says, “I got it.  The eye exam.  Make it only valid ‘while you wait.’”