Music - It Never Stops

FADE IN

THE PLUSH OFFICE OF AN AD AGENCY CREATIVE TYPE.  NIGHT

Two people are swirling whatever they’re drinking over ice in glasses.  One, Jonah, is shaking his head as he stares at his drink.  Karchy, is slouched back in a recliner, staring at the ceiling.  Karchy groans the dialog out.

                     KARCHY
  Jonah, I just don’t get it.  Every word in that spot
  is perfect.  The visuals are great, there’s a call
  to action, and the inherent drama of the product
  is, well, dammit, it’s smack in your face.  Why
  the hell would it test so poorly. 

 

                     JONAH
  (beat) …and bring the client’s wrath right down on
  the two of us?

 

                     KARCHY
  Exactly.

Their eyes meet and what should have been a return to their original positions turns to a lock on one another.  They hold that pose for a number of seconds.  Then what one would imagine to be am upcoming admission of love for one another brings something else.

                    KARCHY
  It’s (beat) it’s…

Jonah’s realization comes with great force.

                    JONAH
  It’s missing music!  That’s what’s wrong.  We need 
  music!

                                         KARCHY  
                            I thought…

                   JONAH
  Think this.  Think MUSIC.  That’s what’ll SAVE (beat) 

  THIS (beat) SPOT.

OK.  The script you’ve just read is true.  Well, it might be true.  I mean, some of it’s true.  Maybe it didn’t go down exactly like that but if you’ve seen any commercials in the last few months, you know that something like this has taken place in every shop – big or small – representing major and minor (and augmented and diminished) clients across the country.  Everything has to have music under it.  Even the Pre-poo™ toilet spray has music underneath. Wait.  Is that music?

It really isn’t new.  In fact, here’s a story that I can attest to.

Toward the tail of last century.  Chicago.  A creative director in an agency is watching a commercial for a toaster pastry product.  The spot is about as flat as the product.  He looks at the writer, art director, and producer and says, “Get some music underneath it.”

They had me call a Chicago music creator.  Pretty well-known guy.  He comes over and we play the spot a number of times.  As he stands in front of the RP screen in a darkened room you can see the outline of him waving his arm up and down, snapping his fingers.  Then he starts to hum.  “I got it.  I got it.”

Meeting over.  He leaves and calls with a proposed session time.  The creative guys go to the studio and come back with a new track.  Voila.  Music.  Same words.  Much better.  

They play it for the client.  “Air it.”

So they put it on the air.  By the end of the month, two things had happened.  First, the outcall research showed it was still a bust.  But, second, the client got a letter (remember, this was in the snail mail days) asking if they were aware that the music used in the spot was actually a Baptist hymn and what did they think they were doing, subverting/perverting and otherwise verting a sacred song.

Well, there was no need to go to a musicologist.  It was the exact song.  Pull the spot, apologize to letter writer, hang heads.  

But the thing did air with music.  It’s just that the music did nothing.

Now, back to today.  I understand that, apparently, we’re all sad.  We’re depressed. Covid has a bunch of us not working, we’re worried about tomorrow and the day after and on and on.

But I am bothered by all the music in today’s media. I’ll start with commercials.  It seems that every creative director is like the one I mentioned above.  We need feel-good music to “set the mood” for our message.  It’s flat out everywhere.

And what’s the matter with that?  I suppose taken alone, away from anything on either side, the spots may work though I have more on that below.  Mashed together, though, different themes, different keys and rhythms 10, 15 or 30 seconds at a time gets pretty annoying.  It just promotes psychological tuneout.

Give yourself an idea of the problem.  Get a sheet of paper (a what?) and start tracking spots.  Just write the word break and after it put an M or an N for each spot.  M’s are for music, N’s for those with no music.  There’s gonna be a lot of M’s and very few N’s. Go break-by-break.  It isn’t tough.

Keep your ears open; you’ll hear a whole load of spots with music mixed under for no apparent reason.  In so many cases, it has no relationship to the visual or spoken message.  It’s just drivel.  I’m not talking about those that creatively make use of a song with parody lyrics that make sense.  What comes to mind is Novo Nordisk’s Ozempic.  They picked up the refrain from Magic by Pilot and it’s changed to Oh Oh Oh O-zempic.  And, son of a gun.  The song plays right into the minds of most prospects – adults, often older, with diabetes.  Does that not mesh with the 1974 date of the song.  And the subliminal link of “it’s magic” to “Ozempic” is terrific, at least for this old guy.  Same rhythm, same accents, no shoehorning or skipping of beats or pitches.

At the same time, I could list 10 others right off the bat using 60s, 70s or any other pop song with zero tie-in to the product.  In fact, the music probably detracts from the product if the takeaway in the viewers’ minds is the song and not the product.  

And how many oldies get used to sell to teens?  Is it a smart thing?  If they don’t recognize the song, is that good or bad?  The lyrics are changed and if they fit, the listener will never know – but then what’s the value of paying a license fee for something that has no meaning.  On the other hand, I’ve been to a bunch of street fairs¹ and I am amazed at the 21+ crowd singing along with oldies from a cover band.  

Of course, I suppose I could suggest that advertisers courting teens and young adults employ much more recent music but what?  Brian McNight? Three 6 Mafia?  Not a lot written in the last 10 years that’s upbeat, positive, and without some sort of objectionable lyric.

One other point.  Anyone remember this cardinal rule for mixing music:  Never mix a vocal under dialog.  Geez, Len, get your backside into the 21st century.  To which I reply, “Yeah?  Because it’s 2020 that makes it OK?”  That issue is not one of taste.  Nor is it one of creativity.  It has to do with lyrics getting in the way of the message.  

Though you might think that the minds of today can pluck out the message, why would you make them do that.  I did a blog on the wonders of human hearing but when you’re trying to convey information, why put interference in the path.

And a final note.  I’m begging you guys, stop doing board fades in the middle of a phrase.  If you have to do that, maybe time to rethink your talent. 

So the tracks keep comin’ whether their music relates to the product or not.  The tube is teeming with them…no doubt because someone said the spot needed music to sell the product.

Coming up next time (or maybe after that) music in programming.  That’s a fun one.

Dennis Haysbert (R)

Aside:  Hats off to Allstate Insurance – 30 full seconds with zero music, relying on the copy and the authoritative voice of Dennis Haysbert to communicate the message.

¹ For those of you not familiar, a Street Fair is a historic gathering of people, usually with lots of food tents, beer stands, local merchants' tents, and a few pandering politicians.  At the ends of the closed-off street there are bands - yes, live bands, people dancing in the street with no masks and much closer than the six-foot minimum.