Don't Worry About the Chinese

OK.  Now what's he prattling on about.

First, please note, this is NOT a political commentary.  Maybe more of an open letter to explain that everyone has a stance on trading with the Chinese.  "There's a huge trade imbalance."  "They steal our intellectual property."  "They want to destroy us."  "They don't buy anything of value from us."  Hit a search engine and you'll find all sorts of reasons to trade and to not trade with China.

Currently, we're in a trade skirmish.  Call it a war if you wanna. It has to do with tariffs and our trying to get some reasonable balance of trade.  I'd go on but I've already buried the lede, as usual.

It's the bottom line.  We have nothing to worry about. 

h-Why?  h-Why, you say?  It's a simple answer:  The Chinese haven't a clue about real world economics or customer service.  My proof?

Jack Ma  (Courtesy, CNBC)

A couple of years back, I registered with Jack Ma's* Alibaba.  Never bought anything but looked at various pieces of electronic equipment and their manufacture in China.  I was always afraid of the "not quite" - like an EIA connection that's "not quite" 3 1/8" or a length of Cat5E line that was "not quite" wound properly.  Too many hassles.  I got some promos from them [him] but not much else.  However, I did do a followup registration with AliExpress, the so-called consumer-driven arm of Jack Ma's business.

Well, this past Tuesday, I realized that a particular item I was looking for was, in fact, manufactured in China.  I thought I'd give AliExpress a try.  Good to have some experience should a vendor or client talk about the service.

If you think Alicia Silverstone was clueless, go to AliExpress.  Sign in, if you want to.  Fill your cart with any number of items, many of which are really good buys since the US markup (not tariff, markup) is pretty high.

If you have my experience, you'll see that there's a clock telling you that the real sale will start in x days/hours.  Wait till then and you can save a great deal of money.  For me it was about $40 on $203 worth of purchases.  And given that those purchases would have totaled about $350 had I purchased from US middlepeople, it was a great deal.

So I clicked on all the coupons to redeem them.   They all said "added" except one which I finally figured out.  Then it sat for 3 days till Friday AM.  I logged back in.  Had to jump thru all of the hoops but it did pull up my list.  So far so good.

Left hand corner?  Clock said 00:00:00 to sale.  Even better.  Once again, I clicked the coupons.  Once again they were added.  Then clicked on "Buy".  Oops.  Can only buy one item.  Hmmmmmm.  Well, that's OK, maybe that's the right thing to do anyway.  See how this thing drives.

Picked one item that exceed its coupon minimum.  Bought it...almost.  In the checkout, it asked for the usual name, address, etc. but, in this case, as you would expect, "Country."

Click in the box.  No dropdown.  OK.  I can play this game.  Entered "US" and it went blank with a red "enter country" above it.  Next try?  "USA".  Nope.  Then, of course, "United States of America".  No sir-ee.

I know.  I'll try Edge instead of Firefox.  Same experience.

Went looking for online help.  If you scour the AliExpress site, you will eventually get to a chat.  (Holy cow.  I'm looking into the screen and I can see eyes rolling to the ceiling.)  I opened "Eva".  Eva was nice enough to tell me that she/he (I don't know what his/her pronouns are) was busy with someone else and would be along shortly.

Eventually she showed up. I explained everything and she asked if I could send a screen shot.  I did.  She recommended that I enter "other" in the country slot.  Didn't work.  Then she asked me to clear the browser cache and cookies.  I reminded her that that would cost me a lot of time down the road with certain accounts I have.  She didn't get that. 

Regardless, I went ahead.  Nothing.  I told her that neither Edge nor Firefox would show the dropdown.  Then the other 鞋子 dropped.  "Please download and install Incognito browser."

Whaaaaaat?  "Excuse me.  Are you telling me that Jack Ma has had a system designed that only works with Google and Incognito?"

"Please download Incognito."

"I cannot"

"Here is the link."

"No.  I cannot because I will not put a Google browser on any machine I have control over."

"You will need Incognito browser."

"I think I can let you go help someone else.  Please do us both a favor and send a copy of this email to Jack Ma."

So, we're safe.  If Jack Ma hasn’t figured it out, he soon will…he built it but we ain't comin'.

Now, granted, this is an inexact analysis.  But the principle is there.  Of course, if they do figure it out, then we throw the fickleness of American consumers at them.  That'll buy us another 50 years.

* I'm using what I believe to be his full name since I'm not sure if he's Westernized or if Ma is actually his pronome

Why Are You Yelling At Me!

Maybe I’m the only person annoyed by announcers screaming at me.  I don’t think that’s the case but I don’t hear anyone complaining.  It makes me wonder if this is just an age thing.  I wouldn’t think so, I mean, among millennials, parents yelling could be considered child abuse so that demo must be attuned to yelling and its ill effects.

There was a time (What?  You want “once upon a time”? “It was a dark and stormy night?”) when announcers were trained to speak with their audience(s).  The thinking was that he/she was a guest in the home of the viewer and that he/she should be conversational – talking like a friend.

I can recall live commercials in all sorts of shows from Ed Sullivan to Milton Berle to Playhouse 90 and GE Theater.  In those commercials, the announcers actually did behave like friends.  You can go back and search for “cast commercials” to watch a few.

The best example I can find is an episode of GE Theater where Don Herbert, aka Mr. Wizard, is doing a sort of commercial demonstrating the development of General Electric jet engines.  Even through the noise, Herbert is conversational in nature, talking with the viewer instead of at us. You felt like he was a friend.

https://archive.org/details/GeneralElectricTheaterCommitted
(16:10 In)

Fast forward to today and what the heck happened?  Was it Billy Mays?  Did his screaming/yelping so bake his infomercials into viewers’ minds that standing out by being annoying became a requirement for any commercial?

Was it that the commercial had to be louder than anything around it?  There’s a lot to that.  And, of course, that led to The CALM act – legislation against the laws of physics and psychoacoustics.

Here’s the funny thing – it’s possible to yell softly.  I’m talking about the type of yelling where the talent speaks in an overly loud manner then his/her level is controlled so that it’s within FCC modulation limits If the level is controlled, how do we know that someone is yelling?¹   Without going into great detail, the larynx develops different levels and ratios of fundamental and harmonic tones depending on the amount of air being pushed past.  It’s the same as overblowing a horn The harmonics can get heavy and rough so that yelling gives a far different takeaway to the viewer than normal conversation.

Bottom line, yelling often makes the listener think you are angry at him/her.  And that said, why would I want to make someone angry while I’m telling him/her something I want to be believed? 
I want to take this one step further.  I sense this type of delivery in other “to-camera” presentations, too.  Newscasters.  Standups.  Sportscasters.  Sportscasters.  And did I say sportscasters?

I have a theory about why.  At one time, television worked with some pretty wide lenses.  (I saw that eyebrow go up…but hang with me.)  We did it for a number of reasons, not the least of which was the dolly.  A move on a long lens often put shake in the image as the pedestal rolled across the floor.  That meant using wider lenses so the cameras could make hot dollies.

Enter the zoom lens.  Dolly is out, zoom is in.  Why should they dolly?²  Instead, the cameras are parked – sometimes even locked off – in positions that produce a pleasing perspective, reduce the chance of shooting off the set, keep the cameras at a distance that would allow equipment and cables to pass in front, lessen the visible motion of the presenter’s eyes when reading a prompter, and otherwise satisfy the set designer’s vision.

If you look at some of the productions, it’s obvious that the camera is back and zoomed in for the proper framing rather than set up close and zoomed back.³  It’s usually a pretty long distance.  So, what happens?  The presenter is imagining that he/she is talking to someone 15 or more feet away.  That presenter doesn’t think about that lapel/lav/boom mic that’s, at most, a couple of feet away, tucked nicely out of frame.

The psychological effect on the presenter is that he/she tries to do his/her best to communicate to that imaginary viewer behind the lens – a long distance away.  The voice becomes strident and loud and becomes unfriendly.  Friendly or not, it’s not the least bit inviting.

If you want to prove it to yourself, first look at dramatic dialog and commercial breaks with the CALM Act in place.  When two actors are a foot apart, talking to one another, the voice characteristics are such that the laws of congress get blown away by the laws of physics.  If, by chance, the segue to a commercial break is to a standup presenter,that presenter will sound louder, dialnorm, BS1770, be damned.

If you listen to that same commercial running in a newscast, the level is probably indistinguishable from the preceding presenter’s delivery.  Go figure, eh?

What to do about it?  Well we could do nothing.  I mean, who cares how people feel about a presenter or product on a subliminal level?  We could keep in mind camera distance and work with presenters – of which there are many more and most with little real education about audio – to get them to talk in a more conversational tone.  Talking more conversationally won’t lower the station’s modulation level; you’ll still be as loud as before but with a smile rather than a frown.  It might even move an additional 2012 Honda Civic off the lot or attract a couple more viewers to a newscast. 
Just sayin’.

 ¹ https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/05/140506094441.htm

² If you don’t know the difference between a zoom and dolly, check this   https://youtu.be/AKOxbCx1LNc

³If you start with that “perspective distortion of wide lenses", we’re going to get into it.